Life at the moment

Life is kinda dull right now... So let's see, a lil update on my life.. Well I'm in college now, trying to finish up my associates degree (arghhh it's so frustrating!), and I work full time as well as a babysitter for these two adorable kids. I started last year at the end of the school year n I restart next week.. Not soo excited.. Like the job totally drains me... S yea, still not much of a social life.. N apparently not much of a dating life either.. His guy was interested but then thought about it n couldn't deal with me not being religious.. So that's done. Before it even started.. Then before that I had this guy in California but that didn't last.. So right now, as I am writing I'm in bed still, kinda exhausted.. Not just because I didn't sleep much due to me not feeling well, but also because I have chronic fatigue syndrome.. Basically a fancy way of saying that I'm tired all the time, no energy whatsoever, plus no caffiene in the world can help! Yea, sucks.. Ugh I wish I could get outta this rut of every day life!! Any suggestions? Like there's no will to go on.. Life is so pointless when u got nothing to keep u going.. Ya feel me?

I lost weight & so can u!

I guess it all started when i was 15/16 years old. i ate whenever i felt like and not just little snacks but full course meals. the meals werent healthy either. i ate ALOT of maccaroni & cheese, pizza ( pizza bages, actual pizza, grilled cheese), fries, etc. all the fattening things u can imagine, i ate. i guess some of the eating was from depression but most of it was from lack of self control. i would eat morning, afternoon and nite. usually i wasnt even hungry but i ate 4 the hell of it. i would wake up during the night, go 2 the kitchen and heat up a full course meal for me to eat. then i would go 2 bed on that full stomache. i never had any energy and i felt like my weight was pulling me down, physically and emotionally. i kept looking in the mirror and kept thinking to myself "eww this is so sick!!" i was close to 230 pounds when i realized that i need to put an end to this. it wasnt healthy and i looked discusting!
Life changed and so did my weight, for the better. i stopped eating the meals at night, stopped eating all the fattening garbage that kept pulling me down, and started eating healthier. my mom started cooking up huge pots of vegetables (i'm allergic to raw vegetables), and making vegetarian dishes loaded with protien ( i was a vegetarian prior but now a healthier one). but you wanna know what helped me the most? my dad bought a snake lock to lock up the fridge, freezer & cabinets.(i dont have the key) that lock was my savior! i have a bit more will power than when i started but still not enough to stop the unhealthy eating. the snake lock is put on every night, taken off in the morning to put out sensible portions of food, then locked up for the remainder of the day till supper time. it has worked wonders.
Now as i am writing this i weigh 178 pounds. i pretty much love the way i look and i can honestly say i look hot! i feel better too. but it doesnt stop there! now that i know its possible to lose weight i have set my goal to 135 pounds and im gonna get there by hook or by crook! i havent really been exercising through this whole thing so i think im gonna start that too. ill let you know how that works out! if i can do it, you can do it, no matter how much you weigh. they actually say its easier for heavier people to lose weight than thinner people..  so what r u waiting 4?? go 4 it!!

Before

After

Update

hey everyone!! so yea my life has been pretty good recently.. so now im like psyched cuz not one but 2 guys asked me out between yesterday n today :) lifes gooooooddddd:) so i made a few new friends, im talking to my sis again, love her kids.. my friends miriam had a baby, family is good, so yea.. o n i also have 2 babysitting jobs atm... in college but wanna drop out 4 a bit.. 2 hard.. so yea thats basically life.. not bad :)

ARGHHHH!!!!!

ok. seriously! can someones life suck less than mine???? a lil update for my fellow blog followers: 1. i probably did NOT get the nanny job in CT. 2. i got no friends. 3. im bored as hell cuz im stuck in my house 24/7 (hardly go out ANYWHERE!!) 4. no job. 5. no money. 6. no bf :(  i mean im hot n attractive n really nice so how come im single????!?! lifes not fair! so yea anyhoo... thats my life update... in addition things r still crappy wih family.. like im still not on speaking terms with my sis (have nothing 2 do with her or her kids) ...  i just want a good life! is that really 2 much 2 ask???? i want: 1. a bf. 2. friends. 3. a job. 4. money. 5. to get out of my shitty hometown. 6. 2 get married. 7. to have kids.... idk! if u have any ideas or leads about anything on my list please let me know!! lol...

So cute!!!

teen life

omg! is teenage life always this aggravating?? u cannot even imagine what i went through already and there is probably way more 2 come... but i mean i cant wait cuz i am turning 18 this coming march so then my worst years are practically over... my whole life i have been waiting 4 that day, cuz i am going 2 b an ADULT!!! my plans 4 18 changed though cuz as time went on i think i grew up and realized that some things i wanted r unrealistic. like a few years ago i wanted 2 get the hell out of my house. now i wanna focus on my schooling, and get my doctor degree, dont really care where i live! and as far as marriage is conserned, i dont wanna get married until i finish my degree 2 b a doctor. if i get married then i would want kids. if i have kids then my degree is over! and i really wanna focus on getting a good career...

sick

its not fair! i have been sick a whole week!! its crazy! my arms were killing a whole week, and one arm was so bad i couldnt ove it! it was horrible! then yesterday i couldnt breathe so my  mom called the paramedics... i didnt wanna go 2 the hospital, so i stuck it out and just slept in another room... but i still have a horrible couph, and cold! i am like almost always sick! its crazy! ok, whatever... i am like so bored... i am babysitting this week... getting 200 at the end, which i guess is 2day... then i might b a live- in nanny 4 a family in CT.